i feel pathetic.
there are so many people out there with real problems.
and i sit here with my crazy mind and my hollow tummy
thinking i have issues
real issues are bigger than me
im pathetic that i sit here expecting people to feel bad for me
because im skinny and i dont eat
i need to suck it up and grow up
ill just wither away in silence
no more feeling sorry
- I hear horror stories about girls who don't eat - how their hair turns white and their gums bleed. But I feel beautiful, perfect. I am all pale and bone-pale flesh and pale hair and I am light. I am like some fairy thing. I dream about fairies dancing around the house with rib cages showing like baskets under their flesh. I could drift up and away from here. I am so light. Bound by nothing. Not even time. And I am pure now.
So today is a new day and its already not so good i mean nothing to complain about but well Colton hasnt texted me today he said he was sick yesterday afternoon he said he would take a nap and text me when he woke up but he hasnt text me since then so i cant help to worryy
its what i do i worry alot.
but im alking to william now and he is really nice but idk i just dont trust him i dont trust anyone but Colton and hes so distant..
lol more laterr
i already ate this morning i have no self control already 420 freaking calories i cant eat for the rest of the day at least i ate them in the morning hopefully i can burn them all off
i guess im single again its weird im sad about it but i dont know why i am Sean is a piece of crap he dumped me for this other girl who is way thinner and more beautiful than me so no wonder but i still like talking to him i shouldnt though i dont like that i do
but im looking forward to tonight because americas got talent and so you think you can dance are on. yay
i no im so pathetic i should be going to parties or hanging out with people but i have no real friends except one and she is in brazil with her dad so bummer fml..
Cut my fat away from my body
burn the pieces
and feed me the ashes
i have been trying to be a somewhat normal person and i just cant do it
Okay so life isnt too bad
i have an amazing boyfriend now
hes my lifee
he lives in mississippi
but coming to visit soon!
So Ana wise ehh.
i dont know its hard
im binging on soup today
and purge purge purging
i weigh 105 this morning when i checkked
pretty good id say
not perfect never perfect
but getting there :]
im so screwed up that if someone else is happy and they flaunt it in front of people it royally royally pisses me off so bad god i just want to punch something geezus and it should not make me so upset. but hell my brain is not like the rest of the planet go figure.